needing time with God

It’s frustrating to me that it’s so easy not to spend time with God. It seems that I don’t really seek Him until I start stuggling with something or start feeling distant from Him. That drives me crazy! Sure I pray to him throughout the day and stuff, but I’m talking sitting and listening to Him speak, asking for direction, reading His word. Why is it so easy to get caught up in everyday things? Why do we so easily miss the big picture, why God’s put us here, what he wants us to do? There’s bigger stuff that God wants me to do in my day than what I’m letting myself be available to see.

I know God uses my struggles to refine me, depend on him, show me that I need Him… but I just wish I knew all that without having to doubt what’s he’s done for me. I felt the HS leading me to read Ephesians 2 this morning. I think he’s speaking to me through these words:

Eph 2:1Once you were dead, doomed forever because of your many sins. 4But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, 5that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s special favor that you have been saved!)

When I read that first sentence I was like, dang, that hits me hard. He simply wants me to remember what he’s done for me. If I remember that I will seek him, even without struggling. If I remember what he did and what he can do, I will have a harder time doubting him. If any of you know my full story, which tons of people do now, then that first verse was so true in my life, and how verse 4 really brings it home.

I know I’m going to struggle, but I don’t want my struggles to be used to bring me back to God because I’m far away… I want to be close to him already. It’s just amazing what happens when you spend time with God, talking to him, asking him questions, listening for answers… I feel like I get a different perspective on everything. I want to do it this way all the time. Verse 10 excites me:

10For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

That’s what this is all about… finding out what he created you for and doing it. When I remember what Jesus has brought me out of and the change I’ve experienced in my life in the last 3.5 years, it excites me, and it makes me want to spend time with him and change more. So coo… πŸ™‚

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